And Can It Be

I used to hate hymns, mostly because people usually sing them in such a stiff, mechanical fashion, giving absolutely no thought to what the words mean. It wasn't until I was about twenty-one that I finally started liking hymns. I'll admit, I still think some of them are drier than crusty cat litter, but some hymns can capture my exact feelings in ways ordinary words fail to.

My all-time favorite hymn is "And Can It Be." No one need ever put my testimony to music, for Charles Wesley already did it when he penned the lyrics to this beautiful hymn (I've put my favorite lines in bold):

1. And can it be that I should gain
an interest in the Savior's blood!
Died he for me? who caused his pain!
For me? who him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

2. 'Tis mystery all: th' Immortal dies!
Who can explore his strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
to sound the depths of love divine.
'Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
let angel minds inquire no more.
'Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
let angel minds inquire no more.

3. He left his Father's throne above
(so free, so infinite his grace!),
emptied himself of all but love,
and bled for Adam's helpless race.
'Tis mercy all, immense and free,
for O my God, it found out me!
'Tis mercy all, immense and free,
for O my God, it found out me!

4. Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
fast bound in sin and nature's night;
thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.

5. No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
alive in him, my living Head,
and clothed in righteousness divine,
bold I approach th' eternal throne,
and claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th' eternal throne,
and claim the crown, through Christ my own.

I think the times when I feel closest to God are when I sit alone, singing hymns like this one. It perfectly captures all those wasted, horrible years before I was saved. I know people like to make fun of the term "saved," and many people try to abuse it, but there's nothing trite about it when I say I was saved. I know what it is to die from sin, because I very nearly did. I have, quite literally, been snatched by God from the salivating jaws of death and Hell. I have felt the breath of Satan on the back of the neck. When I say that I was saved, I mean it with every fiber of my being. I was saved in every sense of the word, and still am.

Point of Grace (a singing group, for those who have not heard of them) sing a beautiful song called "Heal the Wound and Leave the Scar." It makes me tear up when I hear it, because it so perfectly expresses the way God works. He healed all those festering wounds from long ago, but in their place, the scars remain, to never let me forget from whence I came and all that He has done. That song is so perfect, that I just have to share it:

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
That I could just pretend
I never knew the ‘me’ back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it’s the memory of the place You’ve brought me from
That keeps me on my knees even though I’m free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
Heal the wound but leave the scar