Wormwood and Mercy

I was reading the third chapter of Lamentations tonight (I have no idea why), and it felt almost as if I wrote it myself! Verses 6-9, especially, remind me of my early teenage years, before I was saved:

"he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago. He has walled me about so that I cannot escape; he has made my chains heavy; though I call and cry for help, he shuts out my prayer; he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones; he has made my paths crooked." (ESV)

And verses 14-15 tell exactly how I often felt after those horrible years were over:

"I have become the laughingstock of all peoples, the object of their taunts all day long. He has filled me with bitterness; he has sated me with wormwood." (ESV)

It may sound strange, but reading those verses is really comforting to me. Not only does it remind me of what God has rescued me from, it also reminds me that I'm not the only person to go through all that. Jeremiah went through it all and more, centuries before I was even born. I really wish I had reread all this a year ago when my brother-in-law was battling cancer and I was battling doubt and feelings of worthlessness. Too bad I turned from God first before turning back to Him.

The best part, though, is what comes later in the chapter. If I were the sort of person who went in for tattoos, I would have verses 19 through 24 tattooed backwards across my forehead, so that I would see them every time I looked in a mirror:

"Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him." (ESV)

The scars of the past never leave us. In my case, some of them will always be literally visible on my body. But, the mercy and love of God never leaves us either. And every time I look at my scars, I get another tangible evidence of His amazing grace.