I actually posted this on my main blog, but I thought it would be quite relevant to post it here as well:
Before I left the USA, my pastor gave me a letter with a Bible verse he thought I should meditate on as I embarked on my great adventure. I have repeatedly had that verse come back to me over the three months that I've been here, and it has actually become the summary of my life here:
"You shall not do as they do in the land of Egypt, where you lived, and you shall not do as they do in the land of Canaan, to which I am bringing you. You shall not walk in their statutes." ~Leviticus 18:3
Many times here (and even back in the US), I have felt somewhat like a relic from a bygone era. It seems sometimes like everyone I meet is living exactly as they choose to, with no thought to God's desires or commands. I've met many professing to be Christians, but honestly, I can't tell them apart from the non-Christians. They talk the same way, party just as hard, and give just as little care to morality. I am in no way perfect, and I'm certainly guilty of plenty of sins, but it feels sometimes like I'm the only one bothered by it, or the only one worrying about morals anymore.
I got really discouraged the other night, convinced that I was an island. I thought back to the verse my pastor had given me, as well as a few others, and it encouraged me. I guess not many Christians follow the nomadic life I'm leading (moving about from place to place), so it's little wonder that I haven't run into any. Many people think the Old Testament is dead and good only for historical study, but I'm learning firsthand just how applicable it is. Canaan is just as real today as it was then, only now it is everywhere. It's not limited to one discernible location.
I'm in Canaan now, but I'm still living the way I'm supposed to. Don't think that I'm bragging here, or setting myself up as more righteous than anyone else. I've just been shown a lot of grace, and it makes it easier for me to do what I know is right and to avoid what I know is wrong. I still have my slip-ups, but I always somehow land either on my feet or on my knees. I miss having the community of other sincere Christians around me for support, but I think this experience of separation is vital to making me stronger. One's Christianity should not be dependant on other Christians, but solely on God. To my fellow believers who follow this blog, please pray that I can keep on doing right.
[Please note: I have met many sincere Korean Christians (who unfortunately speak very little English), so my remarks here are referring only to other foreigners that I have met. I am not in any way calling Korea Canaan, or questioning the sincerity of Korean Christians - although obviously they, like all Christians everywhere in the world, fight the daily battle with sin, and do give in sometimes. I don't want any misunderstandings to arise from this blog entry.]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Google stumbled upon your blog for me, and I have been appreciating the sincerity and candor of your posts.
I just served a year as an English teacher in Pyeongchang, Kangwondo. Let me tell you, the loneliness I felt there was nearly unbearable at times. It was a small rural town, so finding supportive communities in general, much less in my faith life, was difficult. I think you show a certain Christian maturity in your statement, "One's Christianity should not be dependant on other Christians, but solely on God."
But I do say a certain maturity, for I do not want you to think God wants you to live entirely without fellowship. (Nor do I think you necessarily do think this. You blog entry seems to invite discussion.) There is a book I read in school by Dietrich Bonhoeffer--Life Together. Have you read it? One passage in particular is a boon and a caution to me in times of loneliness, as I hope it may be for you as well.
SOLITUDE AND SILENCE
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community. Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God. You cannot escape from yourself; for God has singled you out. If you refuse to be alone you are rejecting Christ's call to you, and you can have no part in the community of those who are called. "The challenge of death comes to us all, and no one can die for another. Everyone must fight his own battle with death by himself, alone . . . I will not be with you then, nor you with me" (Luther).
But the reverse is also true: Let him who is not in community beware of being alone. Into the community you were called, the call was not meant for you alone; in the community of the called you bear your cross, you struggle, you pray. You are not alone, even in death, and on the Last Day you will be only one member of the great congregation of Jesus Christ. If you scorn the fellowship of the bretheren, you reject the call of Jesus Christ, and thus your solitude can only be hurtful to you. "If I die, then I am not alone in death; if I suffer they [the fellowship] suffer with me" (Luther).
We recognize, then, that only as we are within the fellowship can we be alone, and only he that is alone can live in the fellowship. Only in the fellowship do we learn to be rightly alone and only in aloneness do we learn to live rightly in fellowship. It is not as though the one preceded the other; both begin at the same time, namely, with the call of Jesus Christ.
Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair.
Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.
Post a Comment